Dancing With Letters

Letters drip from the tip of my pen

a  cascading world of symbols

pressing together to make a piece of art.

Artists create beauty with their brushes,

I with my pen

and a piece of fresh paper.

Words circle around

whistling through my brain

the speed of them is so intense that I forget most of them.

Dancing along are the letter

words

symbols

sounds

of things of which only I can see.

My world is full of letters that dance carelessly

as if a breeze raced along my mind

falling as if they were leaves in autumn.

This dance is one of the writer

it is one I will always remember

one that rules my life forever more.

Sincerely,

The one who dances with letters….

Friends…

Each path I walk down seems to look the same as the one before. I am lost. My thoughts are jumbled and nothing seems to make sense anymore. As I keep walking trying to keep my head up high so I don’t look intimidated by the complete darkness that surrounds my form. Why am I all alone? No one is here with me, and I feel as if I have always been alone. Perhaps all of the friends I once thought I had were nothing more than figments of my imagination…. Never was I a popular person in what I think was my life time…. maybe that was all just a nightmare that I finally woke up from. I keep walking down this dark path, and suddenly I hear voices! I start running, and a bright melody starts to hum throughout the darkness around me. “You belong with the music….” it says to me. I don’t quiet believe it at first. How can a person belong with music? My eyes prick with tears as videos start to flash around the darkness in time with that alluring music. I see myself with…. friends? Is that what they are? I’ve always wanted friends, and they appear to be with me in these moving pictures. I finally realize what this music is, and it’s Bryan Adam’s song ‘Here I Am’ and showing me my life. “It’s a new day… It’s a new plan…” here I break down in tears.

“Jessica… Jessica it’s time to get up….” a voice calls me from the darkness, and suddenly the black void begins to crumble around me.

“I refuse to leave!!” my figure calls out to the darkness… I am safer here. These feelings. Now I know how I ended up here.

“Jessica…. come on. You’re going to be late!” that voice again. The safety of my darkness is leaving me.

I wanted to stay in the darkness of this lonely place, because here I didn’t have anything that could hurt me. No one can hurt me if I stay here. “LEAVE ME ALONE!!” my now ghostly figure calls out.

It’s time to go back. If you don’t get hurt then you will never know what it is like to have lived with things that caused you such joy as to hurt you in the first place. The place echos these parting words through my brain as I suddenly wake up in a social room at my college. I have people staring at me, my friends.

“Good to see that you’re awake finally.” Natalie rolls her eyes at me before smiling at me.

“We thought you were going to be late for your class if you didn’t decide to wake up soon.” Brandon says from the opposite side of Nat.

“Thank you guys,” I say as I get up to start gathering my books for my next class of the day.

“No problem,” Chase calls out from over my shoulder, “we’re friends, and you would do the same for any of us.”

Friends… I think that maybe having them won’t be so bad….

I know I’ve messed up

There comes a time in every person’s life when they are forced to choose between what is right and what is easy. This is something that I remember reading from the Harry Potter books long ago, and there is a lot that this can relate to. Nothing makes more sense than having to choose between something that gives you an easy way out or having to sacrifice the quick road for an even better one. This blog has swiftly collapse into itself as I have begun post less and less frequently (something I am immensely disappointed in myself for). It would be easy to come up with a million different reasons as to why I have been so lax on writing things for here lately, but the truth is that I am scared. I am scared that I will never be an accomplished writer like I have always dreamed about, and that everything I have ever worked for will be for naught.

Fixing this blog to be what I had originally intended it to be will not be easy, but maybe that’s part of the point. My creative writing class was meant to write in this thing every day, and I am going to commit myself to doing just that from this moment on. My ramblings may not make sense on a day to day basis, but I don’t care. The point is that writing every day for my class, and for myself, may not be easy, but it is the right thing to do if I want to achieve my dreams.