I am constantly told to just ‘get over’ everything that bothers me, but that’s not always the simplest thing to do. They just don’t understand that you can’t come around quickly when the person you decided complimented your personality the most goes after another girl who is ten times as pretty as you will ever look on your best day. The unfortunate part for me is that I can’t even hate her. She’s that sort of girl who is nice to everyone and nothing really negative can be said about her.
Sure, all of this stuff is probably nothing more than melodramatic crap that my mind is stringing together as a defensive mechanism in order to make the reality of it all seem that much more intense, but my heart doesn’t understand that the way my brain does. It still hurts. My heart still feels as if it were broken and I can’t seem to get enough air into my lungs at times when I see them together. Eventually, my heart will mend the tear that has occurred, just as others have done from the same sort of pain… it… it just might take me some time.
‘Get over it,’ you say?
I refuse to suppress the hurt that I feel. To feel heartache is to know that one is human, that one is capable of getting so close to another human being that they can actually get hurt by them. Maybe this feeling could have matured into ‘love’… ah, but who really understands the term ‘love’ anyway? It is nothing more than a fickle word used much too often in our daily lives to actually mean anything by itself. Perhaps it serves its purpose as a fickle word for a fickle emotion such as that of ‘love’.
All I can say for sure is that my heart will recover and move on, but a spot shall always be his….