I was always told that if I followed my heart I could never actually do anything wrong. Well that was nice in theory, but sometimes your heart is the most vile part of your entire body, and all it does is fuck everything up. We grow up assuming that everything we do is going to lead toward the best of outcomes, this may be true for some people, people who have the ability to always come out smelling like roses. As children we don’t really know what things are considered right and wrong, only what our parents or elders etch out as a moral code. My code was shot to hell from the beginning, and no matter how many ways you look at everything I have done I cant blame all of it on my upbringing. They will say that I should have known better, that to endebt my life to people who would later be some of the most significant people in the world — no matter that they are still rather unknown — was an idiotic choice. When you’re young power can be a hell of a drug. Everything we do will inevitably tip the scales for one side or another, and many of us signed on for this job when we were barely old enough to tie our own damn shoes. Keep to the shadows, and carry out the missions. That was the way things are supposed to be done. Don’t ask questions, follow the directive and claim your payment. Sometimes we would have to kill, other times we would infiltrate an organization in order to bring it to its knees. Some people call us mercenaries…. we call ourselves The Catalysts.
I rose quickly through the ranks and became the Catalyst Queen. People would never know my face, but my name was spoken everywhere, and usually in hushed tones. Funny enough, I thought that this meant I had finally found my place in the world. Maybe I thought being feared meant I had garnered that respect that all Catalysts craved. How wrong I was. Not only did no one know who I really was… but people seemed to sense that there was something off about me. Maybe it was the stench of a well placed secret that would soon begin the next war, or perhaps the lingering aroma of power.
(Story idea perhaps…. or just a little light musing)